Here rests -- and let no saucy knave
Presume to sneer or laugh,
To learn that mould'ring in this grave
There lies a -- British calf.
For he who writes these lines is sure
That those who read the whole
Will find that laugh was premature;
For here, too, lies the sole.
And here five little ones repose,
Twin born with other five,
Unheeded by their brother toes,
Who all are now alive.
A leg and foot, to speak more plain,
Lie here of one commanding;
Who though his wits he might retain,
Lost half his understanding;
And when the guns, with thunder fraught,
Poured bullets thick as hail,
Could only in this way be taught
To give the foe leg-bail;
And now in England, just as gay
As in the battle brave,
Goes to the rout, the ball, the play,
With one leg in the grave.
Fortune in vain has showed her spite,
For he will soon be found,
Should England's sons engage in fight,
Resolved to stand his ground.
But Fortune's pardon I must beg;
She meant not to disarm;
And when she lopped the hero's leg
She did not seek his h-arm;
And but indulged a harmless whim:
Since he could walk with one,
She saw two legs were lost on him,
Who never meant to run.